My Happy Ever After ... after all.

Other than wanting to be an actor and winning an Oscar (before I died), or a rock star... I wanted to write.
Those who know me are well aware of my active imagination. I love the worlds and scenarios that I can create; and making them come to life, either in front of a camera or on a page or both, gives me more pleasure than a human being deserves to have.

Granted, I am infinitely better at the 'acting thing'  than the 'writing thing'... mostly because when I had the chance to learn something in that building with the lockers, hallways filled with noisy youth, chalkboards and books... I scoffed at the chance to learn and the teachers weren't all that interested in my lack of enthusiasm or odd way I never seemed to ever hand in homework...
Err I digressed ...

I woke up one morning sometime back at the end of October 2013 and said, "I'm going to write something."  And so I did. 

I had no story ideas, agendas, plots, characters, understanding of how to write, etc.  I just sat down and wrote.  I didn't allow defeating, defensive discussions to enter into it at any time.  I decided to keep it short and write about something I knew. I decided to write in a familiar voice and style that was my own.  I hadn't really read Lesfic, until a few months prior, it honestly hadn't ever occurred to me to write a romance novel...a lesbian romance novel... a sexually explicit 

The story I was starting to write somehow veered quite early on as I was led in another direction, and for some strange reason, unbeknownst to me, I wrote 'the grief scene'.  I honestly can't remember what inspired it, if anything at all.  But, there before me was; what is now my most favorite passage in the book, Talias' shower.  I'm not sure where it came from... it was truly a turning point for her and subsequently for me, as well.   That scene is the reason I wrote the book.  I created a story from that scene, around that scene.  So, as you can imagine, that it means a great deal to me.   Also, I wrote one of my favorite lines during that scene, Talia says, "Time became irrelevant to me, I became unaware of a minute or an hour passing.  Without Michele here to acknowledge the breadth of that time, then how could it matter?  If I couldn't share the moments within the time with her, how could it exist?"  

Although coming out quite early, relatively young, I wasn't comfortable being 'out' publicly - for reasons I won't go into.  Once the book was published, I was not just merely outed, I was really very sincerely outed.  Over night, some people who I've never said the words to before that day, who although I imagine knew, were finding out definitively in a rather interesting way.

My mother said to me the other day, "I have watched a total transformation since your 'coming out' publicly. Such a freedom! You are being authentic.  Who you are is in sync with honesty."

I believe I digressed again...   but, for good reason.  I lived a very long time, not so much dishonestly, but not fully... not in a way that honored who I was meant to be.   So, friends, in yet another way, this book gave me so much more than I can express. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
And there you have it.. My Happy Ever After was actually published on December 5th. I had the incredible good fortune to get in touch with a wonderful woman who edited the book for me. Even as I think about it now, I still get choked up thinking about the people I've met since writing this book.  The most amazing and generous people.   I really am very fortunate.

Now, as my incredible good fortune continues, My Happy Ever After is being revised ever so slightly to get ready to be released in print.  Yes, IN PRINT!!!!

Very soon, I'll be holding my book in my hands... that same book that I woke up one day and decided to write and didn't talk myself out of, or allow doubt or life to impede it... a tangible creation that says, I was here... I created this and it will forever be, when I'm long not. 

The day I hold my book in my hands, will be unexplainable... and not just because I should have paid more attention in English class, but for the same reason you can't explain to another what love means for you, or the color blue, etc. etc.  I'm sure most of you can imagine, and have experienced it yourselves (several times over perhaps) ... so you understand my feelings will be immeasurable. 

So, now to wrap up the revision of My Happy Ever After ... as well as continue to work on my 2nd book -a murder mystery- and my 3rd and 4th books (subjects I'm keeping under wraps for now).

Thank you so much for reading.